2016 Archives by Arbitrary-Ass Category


It’s Happening – Bob Talbot 2016: FULL COMMUNISM, BABY.
Bob Talbot 2016: TIMELINES – Move over Ross Perot. I’m running for president and I have CHARTS.
BOB TALBOT 2016: FULL COMMUNISM, BABY – It’s just a poster. Sorry.
A Message From the Chairman – The Scoundrel Billy Joel still walks free.
A Saturday Shart From Your Chairman – Dream a little dream with me.
538 is Enough – Recent polling suggests victory over Capitalism.
More Yelling From the Bunker – Gloom, despair, and agony on America.
If You Face Voter Intimidation at the Polls – A handy guide.
The Cancerous South – I’m taking them back. I’m taking them all back.
It’s in the Bag – The final hours before victory.
To Slip the Surly Bonds – The Birth of the Bobolonian Space Concordance.
All Good Things – We had a good run, Comrades.

Yelling at Clouds – Everything/Nothing

YOUR TEENAGER IS A BETTER WRITER THAN YOU – There’s gold in them there Trapper Keepers.
Message in a Bottle – Facebook. The struggle is real, y’all.
Float Like a Butterfly, Bite Like a Flea – I hate acting like I know things.
You Don’t Have to Argue Anymore – Wait, I KNOW EVERYTHING.
This Is Not a Political Post – I had election exhaustion by July, if you can believe that shit.
This is Not a Post – Complaining about the creative process.
Jennifer Lawrence and Other Tools for Thinking – My thanks to Daniel Dennett.
God Damn America – The evil is inside you.
Now Hiring – We’re always taking submissions. Currently received: zero.
A Man, A.P. Snelahnavlan, A Canal, Van Halen’s Panama – Mom loves my posts.
An Apology – I am such a dick.
Always Optimistic – I can’t today.
Salute Your Shorts – Camp Bobby Talbot, we hold you in our hearts, and when we think about you, IT MAKES ME WANNA FART
Shitty Moderate Jokes – The Left is dead.
PsyOps – We have always been at war with Social Media.
PsyOps Phase 2 – We have always been at war with ourselves.
What’s on your mind? – Facebooking from afar.
Today is Doable – S.A.D., or, why can’t I stay home and whine for a living.
WHAM! – Jitterbug into Christmas
Heavy Hitter – Introducing my Social Media Guy, Will Giggles, Esq.
Just Below Navel Gazing – A little shop talk co-starring my hog.
2016: The Final Chapter – RIP Bob Denver, America.

Advanced Yelling at Clouds Less whining, more substance.

For I Have No Voice and I Must Complain – Retail/service industry whining.

Dirty Jobs, Done Dirt Cheap – Fuck Mike Rowe sometimes.

Hungry Like the Wolf – America just got thawed out, and it’s ravenous.

I Love the Sound of Banjos in the Morning – I am not a music reviewer.

Ewoks and Willenials – I put that Millennial shit to rest.

National Anathema – Kneel before Zod. 

Sacrifice – A Modest Broposal.

A Fart in the Wind – For when you’re weary, feeling small.

My Patronus Is Joseph Kony – Gary Johnson gives me the nihilism.

Cristoforo Is Coming to Town – Dust off those dank memes, kids, it’s Columbus Day.
The Year Everyone Died – 2016 is coming for us all.
How to Score With Baristas – This one’s for you, Lucas. 

The Bob Talbot Story Prepare to be shaken, if not stirred.

Ten Years of Bathroom Selfies and Other Cosmological Revelations – The spark to this shitty inferno.
Just Because – Little Bobby Talbot learns about death.

Rust in Peace – Nick Menza.

The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friends – Bob Talbot vs Alaska.

Happy Birthday – To my brother, Blake.

Sports – I am not an athlete.

Don’t Try This at Home – The Fourth means War.

There’s Something to Be Said for Escapism – Let’s catch a flick.

1066 – Goodbye, Hastings.

Reflections on Robin +2 – Goodbye Robin.

Red, Gold, and Green – Feces, consciousness, and the Dukes of Hazzard.

What’s in a Year? – Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Back to the Past, Part II – Back to the Future day revisited.
I’ve Been Waiting – 1980s Pop Haunted House Soundtrack
Have a Day – Happy Thanksgiving Birthday
Postcards from the End – Goodbye Carrie.

Kid Stuff – Bob Blog Dad Dad Blog

DadBlog: The First Six Months
What’s in a Name – Hello, Willie.

Sun Day – An afternoon with my loves.

Bird – Tiny Funerals, Inc.

It’s Just Great – Not today.

Bea vs. the Worm – Look, Dad, a snake.

The Catcher in the Yard – Elon Musk makes me weepy.
The Secret Chord – The Perilous Arrival of William Patrick Talbot.
Face the NamecloudWild Bill Hiccups Rides Again.
Hold Me – Dance Party USA returns featuring Bob “Dandy” Talbot and Fleetwood Mac.
Coraness Explained – I will relate Westworld to parenting. I will do that. It is a thing I will do.
You’ve Got to Know When to Hold ‘Em – Tales of dumps and decisions.
The Night Cow – By guest writer Cormac McCarthy.
Write Caffeinated, Edit Never – Talbot Loud and Talbot Proud.

Reactive Short Stories I usually only do fiction when I’m being a jackass about current events.

Oh-Oh Here She Comes – It’s spreading, man.
Doctor Who vs Hydra – In response to Captain America’s “Hail Hydra.”

There’s an App for That – Silicon Valley workers take note.

Leaked Email Reveals the Root of Clinton’s Trump Strategy – Tiny dick statues for everyone.

WWF Beatdown Beat – by guest columnist Mean Gene Okerlund.
Cold Open – What is that wacky, lovable scamp President-Elect Donald J. Trump up to this time?
Indiana – An interview with preeminent archaeologist, Dr. Henry Jones, Jr., age 117.
Kenscott Giga Ball – It’s not a toy, it’s a way of life.

The KontestI tried not to get involved in the 2016 election except in shitty allegorical tales. It went OKAY.

Part One – Welcome to George’s Arcade.
Part Two – Bernard’s return.

Inspector Why [NSFW] Cumming to a Sci/Fi Erotica section nowhere near you

Inspector Why
Inspector Why and the Shroud of the Swamp Thwacker

Petunia Hatches a Why

Journey of the Saucier

Hot Convention News – I pay money to momentarily stand in the presence of celebrities. It’s exactly what it sounds like.

Bob Talbot vs The Daleks – Upon my return from WhoFest 3 in Irving, Texas. 
Fan Expo Roundup: Day One

Fan Expo Roundup: Day Two

Fan Expo Epilogue: Junk

Comic Convention Celebrity Cheat Codes

Shitty Poetry/Gobbledygook – Mostly poetry, all shitty.

The BobFeed Archives – Dug from the bowels of Facebook.
Post-Apocalyptic 2014: The “Hey Guys” Era – Something happened.

January 2015

The Rest of 2015 in Shitty Poetry

A Blast from the Past – Oh Great Meteor.

“Do you guys have that new poetry book?” – Don’t try.
Cornwall Dreaming – The Continuing Fuck-ups of Ross Poldark.
Wokemandias – The year, 2161 A.D. (C.E., whatever guys. A.D. sounds better).
Leg Day – Why don’t I just stay down here?
CrapstronautGround control to Major Bob.

Shitpost Saturday/Sunday Some of these weren’t actually posted on the weekend, they’re just that shitty.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – A genuine leaked excerpt. 
Hot Reviews: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Sunday Funday Spam Templates

Amerisphere 2525 – Tachyonic Antitelephone call.

I Will Never Forget the Internet Thing That Just Happened

Nard Dog’s Revenge – If other celebrities posted like Wil Wheaton.

10 Myths About Musk-E-Tron 109-S DEBUNKED – Same as it ever was.

CNN Headline Poetry – Said from atop a pile of Syrian baby skulls.

My South Park Audition – One of these things is not like the other, but not the one you think.
Super Moon – Oh boy another Super Moon. When is Regular Moon coming back?     

The Ultimate Solution – A map to end all maps.
Gotta Get Back in Time – MFW Russia selects the President thirty years too late.
The Almighty Algorithm – Historical narrative recovered from Subject 23111978.