2017 Archives Organized Whimsically

WORKYTIME – Retail woes and oh no’s, bros.

Bottom Management – Watch your ass.
The Things They Didn’t Carry – When will they program a sassy robot to do this?
Company Man – The eternal idiot learns a lesson.
Bestsmellers – I will absolutely judge a book by its cover.
Snow Day – The One-Inch Arkansas Blizzard of 2017.
Landscape – Something is always falling.
Expiration Date – Thanks for nothing.
Dropped in the Pot – The frog starts boiling today.
Doldrums – Living in the land of the lost.

Not That 1984 – Empire Records two decades too late.

A Place to Squirt – When you gotta go.
Decade – A blast from the past, and thoughts on the future.
For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow – Trumpcare, eleven years of bookselling, and casual racism.
Opinions, Man – The Call of Obama by H.P. Lovecraft
Dallas Syndrome – First day back after vacation, and as always, it’s worky.
Slacktivism on the Edge – A pin, a man, no plan.

Yelling at Clouds – Shitposts and Politics.

Shop Talk – It’s just a freight train coming your way.
Great Meteor a Hit at the Golden Globes – When are the rich people going to save us?

The Sky Is Falling – Be afraid. Be very afraid.
A Spoonful of Sugar – In the most delightful way.

Weekend Beat – US SNOOOZE AND HOARK REPORT.
Whip It – Okay, it was pretty sweet but we’ve gotta move on.
Moneytalks – You learn something every day.
Clip Show – Truth, Justice, and an old poem.
Why With Her? – The definition of insanity is running Clinton repeatedly and expecting victory.
Google Doo Doo – Donald J. Trump, second best writer, first best loser.
An Open Letter to Conservatives – Let me tell you a little story about a man named Ronald Reagan.
Surfin’ USA – Barry’s on vacation and everything’s fine.
The Walking Red – I love heuristics, so let’s categorize the Red State Zombies.
Change – Bobby and the Night Terrors.
Freedom of Screech – Bad ideas are a disease, and the cure is shutting the fuck up.
Standing – I #NoDAPL’d and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
The Response – Chairman Bob responds to Donnie’s “address.”
EAT IT – I’m writing about jizz from now on, and it’s your fault.
The Rise and Fall of Bobbunism – Socialism, spectacles, and statues.

Arkansorry You Arkansuck – Regional shitposting.

Smackdown – The City of Jonesboro vs. Randy Orton.
Trollin’*Beetlejuice voice* You wanna get nuts? *smashes lamp* Come on, let’s get nuts.
Take Me to Church – Trollin’ Too: Electric Boogaloo.
Trump Youth – Young Confederates invade the Golden Grotto.
Reefer Madness – The Scoundrel Jason Rapert strikes again.
One Day – The We All Belong rally.
The Theocratic Republic of Arkansas – Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
ICE, ICE, Baby – Stop-and-Frisk may have reached Jonesboro, GOD FORBID I call this out.
Fake Headlines – Wherein I retire from politics because I have become Fake News.

Autobiographical Autofellatio – It’s Personal.

Anniversary – Here’s to adventure.
Ten Albums That Changed My Teenaged Life Forever –  Get it on, get it on.
Talbotcare – Political Dysthymia.
Kid Icarus – Hubris, Brocialism, and the art of being Slothswole.

The Bob Talbot Memorial Hall of Embarrassing Shit– Self-explanatory.
Super Bowl Highlights – Stranger Things, Lady Gaga, and the future of football.
Swing and a Miss – A political anecdote about punching.
Thank You – An adventure in space and time.
Time After Time – It’s never now.
The Weekend – A rare break with family.
Neighborhood – Fred Rogers, Donald Trump, and Dalton Trumbo.
The Routine – “Talbot! Hungry! Waffles!”
TCB in a Flash – Bea and Dad, gettin’ shit done.
Dawn – We drag our butts to a dawn ceremony in honor of a heroic nurse.
Beaventures – More errands with Bea.
What I’m For – Space Communism, Star Trek, and me.
Diver Down – Music, Dad, and the bachelor pad.
Fuck Bus – There’s no sex in the champagne room, but there’s totally fucking on the Band Bus.
Quarantined – Cora has the flu, and we’re taking all the precautions.
Always Bea Closing – Bea and I open the store.
Hillbilly Eulogy – Dead Confederates, Neo-Confederates, and Ex-Confederates.
Stones – Cora asks to visit the cemetery.
You Can Run… – Running, lifting, and online sadness.
Funny Papers – Bobby and Garfield.
Anniversary 2: Electric Boogaloo – The Anniversary so nice we have it twice.
Beatrix and the Oscillating Blade – Bea decides to have one last adventure before bedtime.

Hot Convention News – I pay absurd amounts of money to touch celebrities. It’s exactly what it sounds like.

Conventional CareSecure your castle.
The Brig – Ten rounds rapid and something that rhymes.
Convention Countdown – The day before FanExpo 2017 and some stories from WhoFest 3.
The Dallas Fan Existential Crisis – About as efficient as three monkeys fucking a football.
Dallas Fan Angst – Here lies my planned series of rage filled open letters about the FanExpo.
WhoFest at the End of Time – We attend WhoFest 4 in Irving, Texas.

THE DAY I QUIT – I can’t promise I won’t do this again.

Hiatus – I quit.
Fugue – I’m back.

Quarter Quell – 2nd Fiscal Quarter of Shitposting until I ragequit in June.

One Day Sale – Cemetery vandalism digital and real.
The Legend of Sleeping Bougie – I could argue a fascist halfway to socialism before a moderate would flinch.
How to Fail at Business Without Really Trying – She really did say, “I’m Batman.”
Calling All Sinners – There’s nothing a little fame won’t fix.
Revolutionary Brocialism – Own it, you basket of Bros.
What Do You Do with the Meme that You Feel? – I summon Fred Rogers, Destroyer of Worlds.
List O’ Films – It is what it is.
Attack of the Analogies – Saving Obamacare is like Saving Private Ryan.  The premise is nonsense and people die anyway.
Revolutionary Brocialism 2: Electric Boogaloo – I am slowly going crazy one two three four five six…
On Not Writing – If I can’t write or write about writing I’ll write about not writing.