The philosopher Daniel Dennett mentions the term thinko in one of his books. He explains that this is the sibling of the typo, which is a technical mistake. A thinko is more of a thinking error, like momentarily forgetting what parsimonious means and shoving it into a sentence where it doesn’t belong.
I break out into a cold sweat when I notice I’ve committed either of those sins to the wide Internets for literally tens of people to view and judge. Maybe I should start doing my thirty revisions before I hit publish.
I’ve also been pretty guilty of playing fast and loose with the English language. I love fooling around with punctuation and italics because I want things to read the way someone would speak. I don’t know if it’s prosetry or broetry, but I hope this comes across as a little better than idiotic, at least some of the time.
It’s difficult not to compare myself to others, but in this wide world of seven, going on eight billion people, that’s always a losing bet. You can apply it to anything. Hell, if I looked down every time I clicked on a malware-laden PornHub link and thought, “Why do all these beautiful men have such sleek, petite cocks? So streamlined and thin, like tiny bullet trains, when all I have is this massive juicy hog?” well, I’d be reaching for the deli slicer in no time. No, there’s room for this lumbering tool on this Earth, and there’s room for you too, pencil or Oak.
That’s the thing, really. There’s an audience for anyone. When I’m feeling down, I don’t crack open Hemingway and browbeat myself. I repeat this mantra: Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer.
Still, I realize that before one can throw paint on the canvas willy-nilly, they must understand how the masters worked. You can’t build a hot rod without comprehending basic auto mechanics. You sure can buy one, though. Go into a bookstore and pile up all the titles you can find with celebrity/no-name dual authorship. Bring a ladder.
Now, excuse me. I have to go back, delete twelve gratuitous instances of the word that, and Google grammatical rules I should have learned in seventh grade instead of doodling Ninja Turtles and nuclear explosions.
If the typos, or thinkos, are still there after a day, feel free to send me a message. I’m always willing to learn.
Otherwise, assume I did it on purpose. If you can struggle through McCarthy, you can do anything.
I believe in you.