Face the Namecloud

I’m not sure I realized it when we came up with Willie’s name, but we’ve created a treasure trove of nicknames. I can and will (no pun intended) work with “William” and “Patrick” indefinitely.

So far I have called him:

Willie
Wiggles
Willie Wiggles
Willie P. Wiggles
William
Will
Wills
Squilliam
Squilliam P. Squiggles (but never Squilliam Squiggles)
Squealie
Squeals
Wild Bill Hiccups
Stormageddon
Big Worm
WilliePats

I am certain this list will grow exponentially in the coming years.

These will all be acceptable monikers when he goes into his field of interest, be it Star Ravaging, Baseball, Day Trading, Fencing, Marine Biology, or Ballet.

I will not call him Rick nor will I ever acknowledge Rick. Rick is for radio DJs and switchblade aficionados with snake tattoos. Fathers don’t let their babies grow up to work for Clear Channel.

My goal is for him to have absolutely no idea what his actual name is, but only a general notion of what it may be based on. A virtual name cloud, if you will.

This new fearless approach to nomenclature is going to be all the rage in the mid to late 21st century. You think you have it rough now, baristas. Just wait.

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