Shitty Moderate JokesĀ 

How do you find a moderate in a crowded room? Decry Fascism and wait for them to run up and moderatesplain politics to you.

How do you find a moderate online? Post about the weaknesses of Capitalism with regard to health care, the environment, civil rights, well anything really, and wait for someone to post Josef Stalin/Fidel Castro/Chairman Mao/Pol Pot memes.

How do you find a moderate when a blowhard Fascist demagogue threatens the American public in an unprecedented way? They’re the one who tells you to donate to your local Democrat Congressperson and rest assured those “checks and balances” will keep him at bay.

How do you find a moderate at a solidarity meeting for a local minority group? They’re the one who will say that the Framers of the Constitution had this situation in mind, and that there is nothing to be concerned about as long as Senator Chuck Schumer is on the job!

Where do you find a moderate during protest actions? At home researching both sides, because they deserve equal time.

Where do you find a moderate in a relocation camp? In the guard tower “Trying to make it a better place.”

Where do you find a moderate in the post-apocalyptic wasteland? EATING YOUR LEG AND APOLOGIZING THE ENTIRE TIME.

WHERE DO YOU FIND A MODERATE ON THE COLD IRRADIATED CINDER WE USED TO CALL MOTHER EARTH? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE