UNCLASSIFIED U.S. Department of State Case No. F-2016-20439 Doc No. C05775307 Date: 08/20/2016
RELEASE IN PART
Saw it. What do you make of it? I say we stick with the statue plan. Make it even smaller. Don’t confuse voters with details. Ties from China, manufacturing in China, jobs, it’s hard to draw a clear line there. Stick with the dick. We can’t do deportations when I need to do deportations. Americans love a huge donger. We have to nip this in the bud.
This just in – Donald Trump’s penis is likely huge.
According to all the women he’s assaulted, even under Trump’s ever-growing ponderous pannus lies an impressive penis.
“It was almost eight inches long protruding from his fat pad,” said Sally Doe, an architectural engineer who requested that her name be kept secret. “If he did South Beach for a few months I bet he’d have ten or eleven inches hiding under there.”
This was corroborated by a former maid “Esmerelda” who also requested that her name be withheld.
“It was thick, like a Coke can,” said Esmerelda. “Even as he gained weight, I think his penis also got fatter.”
After some prying, we were able to find one dissenter, a resort pool boy who also declined to be identified.
“I only saw it flaccid. Okay, I have a thing for old rich guys, but he wasn’t interested. When he went into the sauna I got a full view and it was six inches, tops. I didn’t have a ruler but if it was peeking out underneath that gut it was at least that long. If he’s a grower good for him, but almost everyone’s a show-er in the sauna. There’s probably not another inch in that old ticker. He has gained a lot of weight though. Eight or nine inches in Military School? I could see it.”
As of press time the only response we have received from the Trump Campaign is a tweet that read, “Ten Inches Higher. Yuge.”