Hot Reviews: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

I did it, guys. I stayed up all night and read the new Harry Potter book. It’s a different format than I’m used to when it comes to Potter fare, so it took a bit of adjustment, but I was immediately intrigued by adult Harry Potter as he muddled his way through life. After that, the script treatment didn’t faze me much.

I don’t want to spoil it for you so I’ll keep this pretty vague. First off, Harry seemed overly concerned with what everyone wore. According to the stage directions, they accomplished this by having a narrator present his internal monologue, which must have been difficult to present live. I can only imagine all the actors standing, frozen, while Harry mentally lists each article of his guests’ clothing and the specific Diagon Alley shops from which they were purchased.

When the characters actually spoke they seemed to spend most of their time arguing about where they were going out to eat. These arguments would often take place until all the restaurants they wanted to go to were closed.

There were also a few strange interludes where the stage would darken and Harry would step to the front and deliver a ten minute monologue on the merits of Genesis. Yes, the band with Phil Collins. I wondered if this was some sort of inside joke, like when the writers of Avenue Q created a character called Gary Coleman and had him played by Gary Coleman until it went off Broadway, but Phil Collins never actually showed up.

There’s so much more I could tell you but I am physically exhausted from working the midnight release and plowing through the book in the wee hours of the morning. Harry certainly has grown up. From his morning facial care routine to his tedious work out schedule, it’s apparent that he’s no longer bothered by trivial pursuits like snogging Cho Chang. This guy is an animal.

When you get to the scene at Gringotts with the cat, you’ll see what I mean.

Welcome back, Harry.

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