January 2015

January 1st

does it get old
body checking your way out of the restroom
after I say excuse me
in your real tree camo
practically invisible
backwoods predator
the hills have eyes
I’m gonna Facebook it
while I take a shit
and you lope on back to Imboden
to catch the end of the Klan meeting

January 3rd

someone ran a scam
so now we scratch the silver tab
it probably wasn’t that much
still, we scratch the silver tab
paying with a gift card?
great. let’s scratch that silver tab
underneath my thumbnail
as I scratch the silver tab
we can’t keep loose change up here
just to scratch the silver tab
that’s another LP issue
fucking scratch that silver tab

the new instructions clearly state
to enter pin with every swipe
but nowhere is there mention of
the task that hangs before us
unspoken
the assumed gap between law and action

swipe gift card
???
enter pin

circumnavigate the globe
climb Everest
complete Apollo Program
scratch the silver tab

the horror of the mundane
while I scratch the silver tab
tension headache throbbing
and i scratch the silver tab
pencaps keys and fingers thrust
TO SCRATCH THE SILVER TAB
it’s not that hard I hate you
fucking scratch this silver tab

January 4th

GMC Sierra
fuck up every lane of traffic
20 in a 40
fuck up every lane of traffic
stretch across infinity
to fuck up lanes of traffic
from Everest to the Autobahn
fucking up the lanes of traffic
the Sherpas’ glares match German stares
at fucked up lanes of traffic
asteroid mining off Arcturus
stopped by fucked up lanes of traffic
Sierra aneurysm
jammed into my lanes of traffic
th hrngng fhrgt hllg
buried in this lane of traffic

January 15th

Hey hey
guys guys
rock and roll, it never dies
it’s better to Cobain
than to Stevie Nicks
hey hey
guys guys

January 17th

hey kids
I know it’s cool now to say vinyl
(it’s a fucking record)
but it’s never, ever “vinyls”
you’re welcome

January 18th

hey guys it’s Sunday
time for some Hozier
to take us to church
fucking over and over

like a giggle at a funeral
like a tickle on a tuber
like a nipple on a goober
like a ginger on a junior

TAKE ME TO LUNCH
TAG ME TO HURCH
TAMMANY BIRCH
TERRY VON LURCH

shaking it off
shaking it off
I’m so happy
to be shaking it off

January 24th

HEY NINETIES KIDS
WHO REMEMBERS “DRIVING”
AND SKATEBOARDS
OH MAN THE TELEVISION
THERE WAS A PHONE
JUST ONE
THE LINE WAS SO LONG!
TROLLEYS?
WE GOT ‘EM.
TWO WORDS:
SHOES AND SOCKS
THAT’S THREE BUT WE DON’T CARE

January 29th

someone thinks they’re Gone Girl
the truth is, they’re a Yawn Girl
the object in her meaty mitts
that she’s mistaken for a scalpel
or Chris Kyle’s sniper rifle
is a sledgehammer
an atom bomb fired point blank
laying waste to all
men, women, children held hostage
in the glow of stupid radiation
the dumbest fucking radiation
the hantavirusebolaAIDS
that she wishes was a laser
tear down the walls
I shot the Archduke
and she murdered Europe

January 30th

America
Shall I compare thee
to literary dystopias
or fascist clowns of yesterday
elicit laughs and shaking heads
dismissal of the slow crush
from people who know better
after all, it ain’t that bad
America
Empire seat of the world
poor Southern men weep
as that guy from The Hangover
puts children to sleep
and dirty hands
with fat farmer tans
echo “savage”
crocodile tears and the raising of beers
to our modern Achilles
the Man With Two First Names
who slew the dusky hordes in New Orleans
(or so he said)
dented Ventura’s dimpled chin
(or so he said)
And, Justified, did work for us
(or so he said)
’til chaos or your God, etc.
sent the Marines to Rough Creek
to put down a rabid dog
America
there are heroes, still